If you have read this column for a while then you may have come to the realisation that I have a strong curiosity around what makes human beings act the way they do. What really intrigues me is the range of human emotions and how they vary from person to person, and even how people can change as their
circumstances alter. One of the toughest challenges is watching friends or family lose their way, even if it is only for a short period. I have a tendency to want to jump in and try and fix the situation, but often the issues are beyond my control and so I have tried to help them to develop a different approach.
One thing that seems common when people lose their way is loss of perspective. Humans generally tend to anchor on negative emotions. A modern example is
that if we get 10 comments on a social media post, 8 positive and 2 negative, we will focus on the 2 negative ones much more. If 5 work interactions
went well and 1 didn’t, it’s the negative one that keeps us up at night. When you get a series of things that go wrong in a row then it doesn’t take long for us
to go off track and we think the world is conspiring against us.
Each person reacts differently to hardship and often it is the framework of our personal circumstance that dictates the basis of our reactions. It is hard to understand this during tough times because we often lose our perspective and think something is much worse than it is.
As part of developing resilience to future negative events that you believe are highly probable to occur, I have found it really helpful to figure out what your
Kryptonite is. That is, work out what set of circumstances could occur that you know that you are highly sensitive to. It might be personal criticism, it might be financial loss or it may be someone that you don’t like personally who you cannot avoid. By singling out your Kryptonite you can begin to work on it and prepare for it, but most importantly acknowledge your personal sensitivity to it. Then when it occurs or you can see it coming, you will be much more in charge of your emotional response.
This is your one opportunity to be stronger that Superman, who was powerless against Kryptonite. With some careful self analysis you can definitely
take control of your reactions, reduce your stress levels and be proud of yourself for doing it.